It Still Hurts

I was just thinking about my dear friend Curtis and decided to write a little about him. This is when I found out about his death. This is pretty well how it went, I just took a couple parts out to make it flow a little better. I am sorry this is a little depressing, but it really is very therapeutic to put it out there once in awhile.

My heart started pounding. There was a problem with my dear, best friend.
"What is wrong with Curtis?"
"I really don't want to tell you over the phone. I want to wait 'till I see you this weekend."
"No. I want to know now. If there is something wrong with Curtis you need to tell me."
"The movie is just about to start. I need to go."
"Well then send me a text."
"Are you sure?"
"I want to know what's going on!"
"Okay... I love you."
"Love you, too."
I hung up the phone and waited impatiently for a response as my mind raced. Was he in an accident? Was he in the hospital? Was he having problems with his heart again? Was his depression really bad again? My heart pounded more and more the longer I waited. I tried thinking of something else but nothing could get my mind off of the text I was so anxiously waiting for. After what seemed like forever my phone finally buzzed. I flipped it open with my trembling hands. The words stopped my heart's pounding and a sudden lump formed in my throat. This couldn't be true. I stared blankly at the screen. I re-read the text, trying to get myself to believe and react to the words.
"Curtis' girlfriend broke up with him. He couldn't handle it. He took a gun to school and threatened suicide. His body was found later in a field by the school. I am so sorry. If you need to talk please know I am here for you."
I wanted to curl up and cry, but no tears would come. My sister asked what was wrong and I wanted desperately to respond, but I could not force myself to speak aloud the words I had just read. I stared at her and slowly brought my phone up so she could read it herself. She finished and put her arms around me. I excused myself to the bathroom. I still could not bring myself to fully believe that my friend was gone. I frantically dialed his number and listened as it rang until it went to his voice-mail, but his voice-mail was full. I called over and over again hoping against hope that his voice would come through on the other end and wake me from this nightmare that was becoming more and more real to me. But he never answered. I slumped to the floor and the tears finally came. This was real. My sweet, amazing friend was gone...