We all have things we are struggling with. Every single one of us. Our problems may differ, but there is no denying that we sometimes start to buckle and fall with the weight of our burdens.
I was sitting in church one Sunday, buckling under my own burdens, when a thought came to me. Only one perfect being has ever walked this earth, and even He fell with the weight of His burdens. Matthew 26:39 begins with that very thing. "And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed..." I learned so much just from this. Sometimes we feel and are told that it is a bad thing to fall-we shouldn't break under our burdens. But break and fall we do, and that is perfectly okay. As long as we pray.
Sometimes this is the place where we all go wrong. We forget to pray. I admit that I am a culprit of this. It's something that I am constantly working on. There are times when I forget to pray until my knees are already giving in and I am falling to the ground. But as I hit the ground, prayers are radiating out from every part of me. It's one of the only ways I was able to get through a miscarriage.
One of the other things we are often told, which I think is terrible, is that we shouldn't pray to have our burdens taken from us. It is fine to pray for that. Jesus did in His prayer to Father in Heaven. After Christ had fallen to the earth, he prayed, "...saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me..." Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, suffered unbearable pain and persecution, beyond anything we can imagine. And He didn't want to. He prayed to have His suffering taken away. But it wasn't. Ours usually isn't either.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been told to be grateful for my trials. There are many trials I am not grateful for. I give thanks to the Lord for helping me to get through them, but I don't give thanks for the trial itself. I have never been grateful that I had a miscarriage. I've never been grateful that my best friend died when I was 18. You don't have to be grateful for your trials. It's okay to fall flat on your face and beg for them to be taken away. But let us look at the rest of the scripture.
Matthew 26: 39
"And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."
"Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." This. This is where my thoughts finally led me that Sunday. How can I even begin to say how much is held in this small prayer? It's not about what I want. My focus is so small. I can't comprehend all that God knows and sees. I don't know why I have to suffer the trials that I do. But God does. That's the key, isn't it? It all comes down to faith. Jesus Christ had enough faith is His Father, our Heavenly Father, to say, "nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." He completely gave His life over to God. This is something that I am working on and will continue to work on for my whole life. Giving my life to God. Having enough faith to trust Him in all things. And this is what I encourage you to do.
I'm not telling you not to fall, scream, beg, or break. We've all been there. I'm pleading with you to pray at those times. It's going to be hard, and it's going to suck. And there will be times that you don't want to do it, and you want to give up. But if you pray with humble heart, you will not be left comfortless.
Picture found on lds.org
"Gethsemane"
Adam Abram (1976)
Oil Painting
Christ’s suffering in Gethsemane is beyond our understanding, but as intense as it was, He persevered through it. As we suffer through our own times of trial, as intense as they may be, we must never give up
Gethsemane - Adam Abram
